How to Uninterest Me in Your Job Opening
========================================
:author: Aaron Ball
:email: nullspoon@iohq.net


== {doctitle}

I have been recieving an incredible amount of job calls and emails lately. I
mean, so many that I'm concerned my cell phone minutes will go over my alotted
450 (sure, I don't have to answer those calls). For whatever reason, I actually
read through most of these emails. However, lately my brain has been tuning its
spam filters to reduce the strain of going through that much junk. For you head
hunters out there, here is my personal list of easy ways to uninterest me in
your job opening. You might want to pay attention because I suspect I speak for
a lot of people.

1.  Using words like **URGENT**, **NEED**, **ASAP**, and/or *OPPORTUNITY*
+
This will not make me want to answer your email any faster. It will, in fact,
make me sad to see an email from you and not want to do business with you ever.

2.  Writing subject lines all or mostly in caps
+
Your excessive use of caps lock will only deter me from reading your email. All
caps says to me "no one is interested in this job for a good reason so I will
resort to doing whatever I can to make sure that people read the subject of
this email".

3.  Telling me there is a need for a <job title> in my area
+
You see, now it just looks like you're spamming me using key words from my
website. If you have a job in my area, tell me what the job is and who it's for
- not that there is one.

4.  Describing in the job requriements that I must be able to "operate well
    within time constraints and be able to multi-task in a fast-paced
    environment"
+
I understand there are some exceptions to this but most jobs require this. In
fact, I can't remember a single recruiter email yet that hasn't mentioned this.

5.  Use the words "fast-paced environment"
+
This one is almost a sure fire way of getting me to delete your email in a
fast-paced way. I have had really bad experiences with this one.  I'm sure you
mean well and intend this to say "__dynamic changing environment__", but to me
this says "__lots and lots of unpaid overtime__".

6.  Make it clear to me that you found me only on a few keywords on my resume
    and offer me a job that is not even remotely close to what I do.
+
Just because the keyword _Java_ is in "Java Application Administrator" on my
resume doesn't mean I'm a "Java programmer".

7.  Offer a 3 to 4 month contract in another state where the cost of living is
    far higher than where I am now
+
Does anyone ever take these? I just don't see a reason to move to another state
for "3 to 4 months" other than just wanting to visit that state.

8.  A job regarding ways to make SuperUberplexes of moneys from home working
    only a small number of hours per week
+
Call me closed minded but I view these as either pyramid schemes or
get-rich-quick schemes. I've seen many of these and they either land people in
jail or fizzle out with little to no consequence or profit.

9.  Call or email me when you clearly know only a small amount of English
+
What do you think outsourcing your recruiters says to me? If I ask a very
simple question and it is not understood, not because I didn't phrase it right
but because the recruiter doesn't know the words, I will not be very interested
in your job opening or company.

10. Send me an email that is obviously a generated template
+
The sentence "Our records show that you are an experienced IT professional with
experience In . Net Developer This experience is relevant to one of my current
openings. <Paste opening title from website here>" is clearly generated.
Firstly, the word *in* should not be capitalized In the middle of a sentence,
even if In a title. Also, it's **.Net**, not **. Net**. Additionally, you
missed a period. Most likely when you copied and pasted the job title in your
sentence you overwrote the period at the end.


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